depressing friday

"TGIF!"

an acronym overly used to express joy for the approaching weekends.

it's friday today but i'm certainly not in the best of moods. though trouble never stops coming in, life recently really haven't been THAT bad. not bad enough to spoil a friday at least.

okay to put it in the shortest possible way, friday's been depressing so far, no signs of it getting any better, but i can't put a finger on what went wrong exactly. well, the weather's horrible, i had a big time cramp on my left calf last night during my sleep, i'm stuck in the office with a pathetic number of colleagues (half of which i barely even talk to), n i'm here updating this derelict blog which i left untouched since 20th may this year (ok that's about 5 months).

frankly, there have been moments in the past 5 months when i get this urge to write something on this tiny (and somewhat insignificant) space in the worldwideweb. the furthest i got, however, was the beginning lines of what seemed like the longest thesis in the world. i always get held back by this - as people would say it - mental block. okay i'm not gonna attempt to illustrate it, too much of a hassle. i mean, what's the point right? not as if people are not gonna understand the term "mental block".

so after a few occasions of trying and subsequently giving up, i sort of decided not to try anymore. i mean, who wants to read about me?! with such a routined life (with occasional hiccups, sometimes burps), there's really nothing much to talk about most of the time. and i'm not about to start telling the world how many times i yawned or how many grains of rice i've eaten in a day.

i digress.

okay back to depressing friday. i've had enough of dots and dashes, ticking metronomes, overdose of decibels and frequencies for the week. so after this morning spent on perfecting 1 crotchet, 1 semiquaver and 22 demi-semiquavers (where 1 crotchet = 4 semiquavers = 8 demisemiquavers, for the benefit of music-illiterate readers), i told myself that's enough for the week (though those 2 bars still sounded crappy).

after a good serving of laughter over the lunch table, i was back in this gloomy office complex, thinking about how i'd spend the rest of this friday afternoon. so here i am, after 5 months, picking up this blog (not exactly where i left off).

so, a little on recent (or not-so-recent) happenings. may through august was just lots of prep for the usual national day thingy, and also the band's trip to canada, which turned out to be an eye-opener (as usual). the nature of the trip was of course, work, but it had the slightest feeling of a retreat from this hectic city lifestyle. so that was the trip in 2 lines. capsule project took off (finally) and had the 1st jamming session not too long ago. thank God for eef to be there to iron out all the kinks in terms of admin and public relations. things are relatively smooth so i can't complain much. then there was prep for my ltcl coming december. mundane are the days locked up in the studio practicing (but never perfecting) the same things day in, day out, rain or shine, good or bad. honestly, there were times i was so sure i'm never gonna make it. but oh wells, having already registered AND PAID for it, giving up ain't really an option.

and of course, there's my once-hectic social life, which is actually going downhill; me on my part not giving a damn about anyone at all. and my recent refound addiction to reading's just not helping the situation in any way. an afternoon at a coffee joint with a latte and my latest murakami novel would more or less paint my ideal afternoon portrait. well, i guess that's what overdose of work does to people, besides looting their health.

having said this much, i still don't feel my mood lifted by even an inch; friday's still pretty much depressing, for reasons way beyond my comprehension perhaps. not that i hated fridays to begin with. in fact, i used to look forward to fridays. oh well, at least i burnt the time i could have spent brooding over today writing all these nonsensical stuff which i doubt even anyone would bother to read. haha.

and so the sound of the tuba continues behind me, the metronome continues its lifeless tick...

"tick... tick... tick... tick..."

this is friday.